印度志工服務心得(下)

深 入Field

我們在CSM的第一天是到一個叫塔壩的村落進行醫療計畫跟衛生教育。醫療計畫的部分就是幫當地村民包紮傷口。但剛開始我跟國豪比較像從旁協助的小護士，跟著他們一步一步學，或是包一些小傷口。On the first day in CSM, we went to a village called Dhapa Durgapur to provide medical care and basic health education to the villagers. As I was inexperienced, I stood at the sideline and watched the more experienced volunteers dress wounds. Gradually, I got the hang of dressing minor wounds.

包完傷口後就是很有趣的衛生教育時間：幫小朋友洗澡!對在台灣長大的我們來說，用乾淨的水洗澡是理所當然的。但他們不是! 在CSM到那裡前，他們的洗澡方式就是跳入池塘--- 一個同時用來洗衣服、洗鍋子、洗小狗、與大小便的池塘。我去一次大概要洗十幾個小孩…洗得我腰酸背痛，全身溼透。不過看到他們全身亮晶晶的樣子就很有成就感。而且小朋友都好可愛! 搶著要給我抱抱，還有的搶著要牽我的手指，有一個小女生因為搶不到我的手指就跟另一個小女生吵架了…讓我尷尬又好笑。After that comes the interesting part: bathing the children! As someone who grew up in Taiwan, I realized how much I used to take clean water for granted. Before CSM started this program, young children used to bath in the pond--- the same one that was used to do the laundry, to wash the utensils, animals and where human waste was disposed of. Now, water was drawn from the well for bathing purposes. I washed several children until I got a backache because it was a very tiring task! Nevertheless, I felt a sense of achievement when I saw their sparkling clean bodies. Moreover, the children were just so lovable! Two girls competed to hold my finger…It was embarrassing but at the same time so funny!

CSM的另一個醫療計畫是在Topsia進行。它們借了一間塗滿亮橘色的房間當作clinic。我在那裡除了協助醫療服務外主要是教一個有心智障礙的小女生英文數學。她一開始原本很害羞，但後來我發現她其實很愛唱歌，所以就開始放音樂給她聽。然後她就聽著五月天或是蘇打綠的歌開始打著節拍搖滾起來…很可愛。而且她還會幫我把教書時不斷掉下來的瀏海塞到耳後，就甘心。CSM also runs another medical clinic at Topsia, where a small, orange- coloured room was used as a clinic. I taught math and English to a young girl with learning disabilities. She was very shy at the beginning, but I later discovered that she liked music, so I started playing songs of Mayday or Sugargreen(Taiwanese Ban) on my mobile phone. She looked so lovable when she clapped gleefully to the rhythm of the music!

有一次俄羅斯女生帶我們去看當地的鞋工廠。結果我大概離50公尺遠就快暈倒了，因為全都是強力膠的味道! 結果後來走近一看，裡面有一堆童工。我覺得心好痛，又忍不住一陣鼻酸，這些小孩應該去上學而不是在那裡…。We also visited a shoe-making factory nearby. I could smell the chemicals from 50 meters away and I almost fainted! When I approached the factory, I saw a lot child laborers inside. It grieves one deeply to see these children not having the opportunity to go to school.

傷 口Wound

在加爾各達印象最深刻的其中一個服務經驗是幫一個遊童小女孩包紮腳上大姆指的傷口。Perhaps, one of my most profound experiences was watching a small girl getting her toe bandaged.

我們看到她的時候，她腳上的大姆指指甲只剩一半，另一半露出紅肉，腳的四周都是硬掉的泥土，我們幫她清洗了好久，泥土都清不乾淨。There was half a piece of toenail in place, and raw flesh oozed out where the other half of the toenail was missing. We spent a long time cleaning away the soil stuck in her toenail.

消毒的過程中，她看起來好痛。我看著看著，然後我就哭了，覺得好心疼，不懂為什麼一個小小的生命要承受那麼多痛苦。As we disinfected her toe, she was clearly in pain. Seeing her in pain, I cried to myself, not understanding why a small life like her had to withstand so much pain.

幫他包紮的過程中她一直聞我們頭髮，可能是她覺得很香吧! 後來包紮完畢她看著我們開心地笑了，還講一句：「better!」我當下內心感到熱熱暖暖的，覺得好幸福。She was trying to smell my hair all the time. My hair must have been very fragrant! Finally, we were done with her. When she smiled and said that she felt better, I experienced so much warmth and happiness inside!

不過當我一抬頭，後面又是不停前來的遊民要包紮傷口跟要食物，我瞬間覺得百感交集，無力感好重。However, when I turned to see line of vagabonds waiting to have their wounds dressed, I felt helpless.

融 合Fusion

我跟國豪沒做志工外的時間就會在城市裡面到處閒晃觀察。我們捨棄了計程車，開始跟當地人擠公車或走路到Sudder Street、到維多利亞公園、到河邊。有時一天甚至有4、5個小時在路上走路。找到機會就敞開心胸跟當地人聊天互動。結果到後來我即使晚上10點獨自在街上行走也覺得很安心，我的呼吸脈動和這個城市融為一體，我彷彿就是印度人。When Kok Hou and I were not volunteering, we would explore the city. Eventually, we stopped taking taxis. Instead, we took the public buses, and sometimes even took long walks to Sudder Street, Victorial Memorial and the riverside. Sometimes, we even spent 4 or 5 hours walking on the road. During our journeys, we mixed and mingled with the local people. Gradually, I even found the courage to travel alone at 10 pm. I could feel myself merging with this city, almost as if I were Indian.

在懶洋洋、濕黏的雨季，沿著胡格利河行走，看著忙亂擁擠的人群中仍然充滿著印度乞丐，聽著印度苦力們壓在瀝青馬路上的乾巴巴的腳步聲。我突然想起《深河》裡的一段話…「河流包容他們，流呀流地。人間之河，人間深河的悲哀，我也在其中。」在印度我體悟到或許人生就是要學會接受一些事情吧! 並且要多珍惜跟關心自己身邊的人，因為一切得來不易…這是我付出了好多才學會的。In the layback and humid monsoon,walking along the Hooghly River,I saw the road was still crowded by Indian beggars and I heard the voice of Indian coolies steping on the asphalt. Suddenly it reminded me of a passage in 《Deep River》:"The river accepts them.It's the river in life. The grief of the deep river, which I am also in." In India I realized maybe we just have to learn accepting something in life. In addition, we alsot have to cherish and care more about people beside us, because nothing should be taked for granted.

要離開加爾各答的前一晚我跟旅館櫃台的哥哥聊天聊到半夜3點多，談到印度很多令人無力的問題。後來他問我說：你要回來救我們嗎? 我答應他以後我有能力一定會自己辦一個NGO回來設法做更大的改變，也叫他要加油。他也說他也會努力賺錢，幫助當地的窮人。The night before I left Calcutta, I spoke with hotel receptionist until 3 o’clock in the morning. We talked about the issue of poverty in India. He asked me: “Would you come back to save us?” To which I replied that if I could, I would come back someday to set up my own NGO to bring about greater change. I also encouraged him to work hard. He said that if he made enough money, he would also help the local poor.

隔天中午我在旅館吃著最後的午餐準備要去機場，回想起剛到印度的不適應，被CRAWL逐出時渡過的漫漫長夜、到後來找到更好的NGO、又自己解決許多困難，就覺得一陣惆悵，也覺得好捨不得旅館的朋友跟國豪，眼淚竟撲簌簌又開始流不停…。到了不得不離開的時刻，我跟國豪抱抱say good-bye再又跟旅館的人一一道別。最後就坐計程車去搭飛機離開加爾各答，結束這一趟精采的志工行。As I was eating my last meal in the hotel, I began to reflect on my experiences in India thus far. I recalled how difficult it was to adapt to India, how I was expelled from CRAWL and the sleepless night that followed, how fortunate I was to find CSM, how I had to solve many problems on my own. I felt melancholic thinking how much I was going to miss my friends. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. After bidding everyone goodbye, I took a taxi to the airport, thus concluding my volunteer mission in Calcutta.

需 要Needs

待在加爾各答三週，我們看到的問題什麼? 到底當地需要的是什麼? 其實說穿了，印度主要的問題還是人口。人口過多，但資源有限。During our 3-week trip to Calcutta, what were the problems that we saw? At the end of the day, the crux of the issue lies in overpopulation, and limited resources.

當然印度政府的貪汙腐敗跟官僚體制，還有印度內部階層剝削階層的社會現象也是一大原因。所以當政府組織運作沒有效率時，就需要靠當地的非營利組織來運作改善當地的環境。The Indian government's embezzlement and corruption within the bureaucratic system, and the caste system also contribute to the problems. When the government is incapable of responding to such needs, non-profit organizations are relied upon heavily to improve local conditions.

那當地的非營利組織需要什麼? 以CSM為例子，除了資金之外，我想他們目前比較需要的是有醫療背景的志工。而如果它們明年的學校計畫弄好，那就需要教育志工。What do non-profit organizations need? Take CSM for example. Besides funding, they needed volunteers with a medical background. And if they wanted to start a school, they would need to train volunteers to run the school.

除此之外，我也看到印度的優勢：深厚的文化根基、強大的思辯能力、天馬行空的創意、世界一流的科技產業、香料混雜的印度美食、獨門的織布技術、渾然天成的藝術天份…。In addition, I also see India's superiority: its strong cultural foundation, its unrestrained artistic and creative energies, its world-class high-tech industry, its good food, its weaving technology…

印度的潛力無窮，他們需要的不是更多錢與物資，而是需要有人去empower the people，建立他們的自信心，讓他們能夠發揮潛力，自己有工作能力。India's potential is infinite. What India need is neither money nor material goods, but leaders who can empower the people and build their self-confidence, urging them to stand up on their own feet.

當然憑我們幾個人，三個禮拜能給予的幫助很小。真正的改變需要很長時間與更多人的投入。而只要有持續的計畫，接棒的人更多，改變就一定會造成!Several volunteers could not do much in three weeks. Change takes a long time and requires everyone’s cooperation. But so long as there is a plan, and so long as everyone participates, change will certainly come!

反 省Introspection

記得跟CRAWL談判那天，一個英國志工看我們拒絕付錢，就一直對著我們說：「Do you enjoy it! Do you enjoy it!」。I remember how a British volunteer from CRAWL, seeing that we were hesitant about paying the fees, asked me: “Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy it?”

這句話真是吊詭、諷刺、又發人深省。I found these words strange, ironic even.

究竟我們是用什麼樣的心態在做志工? 是可憐他人來豐富自己的人生嗎? 所以我覺得很享受，我就應該付錢? 那是消費體驗價? 所以那些小孩是工具嗎?The question arose in my mind of what it means to be a volunteer. The implication of that question appears to be that if I had “enjoyed” volunteering with CRAWL, then I should pay the fees. Are we consuming those kids? Are these street children just tools of whose misery NGOs could make a quick buck then?

我想答案並非如此，應該是說，本來全然無私的利他就很難持久，或多或少包含了某種層面利己。做志工獲得的利益就是自我成長和喜悅。但我們的喜悅是來自於愛，來自於了解他們，並建立起他們的自信心，而非可憐他們來成就自己的人生，這是有差別的。I think these are not the right answers. What we should say is that a completely unselfish altruism is hard to last. More or less it includs of some kind of egoism. The benefits from volunteering are self-grow and happiness. But our happiness comes from love, from understanding them, and building their confidence,but pitying them to complete our life. These two are different.

親身參與國際志工的價值就是培養自己獨立思考的能力和遇到突發狀況的應變能力；因為當你支身在國外，孤立無援時，一切要自己來，遇到危機要自己和當地組織處理，你會發現你各方面能力突飛猛進。Overseas volunteering has its value. It teaches a person to think independently and puts him in unexpected situations which he then has to find a way out of. When you are overseas, you are essentially on your own to deal with crises. You have to negotiate with local parties on your own and in the process you will grow by leaps and bounds.

成長的過程往往也是這樣，常常自己問的問題，然而沒有人可以回答你，只有自己最清楚問題的核心，也只有把真相剝開才能速度驚人的解開疑惑；別人說再多都只是參考，只有自己最知道應該怎麼做。The growth process also involves asking a question. Very often no one could give you a reply. Yet, you are the only one who understands the core of the question, and so you must resolve your own doubts. What other people can tell you is at best a reference.

這次的事件給我們最大的教訓就是，參與當地NGO前，要問清楚權利義務關係，並做好事前評估，了解當地物價，且不要用自己的邏輯推測當地組織的運作方式。The biggest lesson that I drew from this volunteer experience is: before participating in a local NGO, I must first do extensive research on it and not speculate on how the organization is run.

跌倒正是考驗我們如何面對挫折，如何面對失敗。我們沒有乖乖付錢然後就將不愉快的經驗，屏除不去正視，假裝沒有發生過，假裝那是一次完美的志工服務。雖然原訂計畫沒有完成，但是後來替代的計畫反而更好。且如果我們沒有去質疑，沒有受傷，沒有離開，又怎麼會看到更好的組織。回顧當時的作法，我可以勇敢地說：我很滿意。This experience taught us how to deal with a setback. We didn't pay the money and then omit the unpleasant experience,pretend that it never happens, and pretend that's a perfect volunteer journey.Our trip did not go as planned, but as it turned out, we had a more enriching experience with CSM. In retrospect, I am very satisfied.

找到撐起世界的那根槓桿Finding the lever to move the world

阿基米德說：「給我一個支點，我就可以舉起地球。」Archimedes once said,“Give me a place to stand on, and I can move the earth.”

而這次的印度志工行給我最深刻的感想就是：「想舉起地球，得先找到自己撐起世界的那根槓桿!」My deepest feeling as a volunteer in India is “if you want to move the earth, you have to find the lever by yourself first. ”

一趟印度志工行，讓我看盡了人生的千瘡百孔，也上了一堂活生生的震撼教育。短短三週的濃縮成長，不僅改變我觀看世界的態度方法，也讓我對真實的世界有一番全新的視野。In this trip to India, I feel like I’ve seen all the sadness of life, and what I’ve learned from the trip doesn't only change the attitude I have toward this world, but also make me view this real world with a new eyesight.

此外，更重要的是，我因此對自己的人生方向更加清楚。what’s more, I understand the direction of my life more than before.

我深刻體認到，要改變世界不能只靠滿腔熱血，而是要先對這個世界有第一手的了解，並找到自己可以貢獻的方向努力前進。I realize profoundly that people cannot change the world by passion only, instead, they have to understand the world first, and then step toward the direction to which they can devote themselves.

世界上有4000萬的愛滋病人口，全球有14億窮人每日不到1.25美元維生。要拯救世界並不簡單。就像「若水」創辦人王文華講的，做公益比賺錢還難，如果沒有專長，真的幾乎只能付出勞力；但如果是比爾蓋茲去做公益，因為他有科技這支槓桿，他的影響力就非常大。There are 40 million AIDS infections in the world. 1.4 billion poor people live under 1.25 dollars a day on the earth. It's not easy to save the world. Doing public welfare is harder than making money, especially when we have nothing special but labor only. For example, the influence of Bill Gates to public welfare might be significant because he has the lever of technology.

重點是如何真的以自己堅強的能力去幫助那些人;而那些人被我們幫助過後真的 make a big difference。要幫助別人，絕對要先充實自己; 努力念書，並找到自己撐起世界的那根槓桿!The point is how can we help those people in need with our ability, and to make them have a different life. If people want to help others, they must study as hard as they could, and find their own levers of changing the world.

人生並不完美，世界充滿殘缺。但跌倒了要繼續往前走，身處絕望就要努力創造希望!The life is not perfect, and the world is not complete. If you fall down, you have to stand up and step forward; if you are in desperation, you have to work hard and create hope!

It’s not giving up. It’s growing up.

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POSTED BY Christine Chen @ National ChengChi University,Taiwan